He.

It must have crossed my mind maybe hundreds of times.
I thought I was unhappy.
Not with the right one.
I must have thought of going infidel
Over and over and over again
Till it came to a sudden pause
And, another loop all over again.
Patches from those rough years
They had better equipped me.
Armored as I would say, my deepest core,
Unaffected by any human alive,
Any person I knew, know or would ever know.
He was one of them.
An insider to my outer self
And an outsider to my inner self.
My choice, yet my option
My somebody, yet a nobody.