L.O.V.E. Is it?

Take it easy, take it slow

When you have my heart, where would I go?

When words run short, and you have a hustle bustle of emotions, what would you opt out for? Just puke it out, all of it, no matter what, or just hold it in, swallow it, assimilate! Choosing, in fact, the toughest of all tasks. What would that little heart understand when it would lose itself, the tussle that would go on in our cerebra! Had it known, would it pause, would it not feel what was bound to be felt! I wish I knew the mechanism, with which these emotions are co-ordinated. Be it mere impulse, or neurotransmission,  it has got a strong affinity for the free radicals, that time and again this fist sized apparatus releases.

Too shortly, too often and too plethoric, the word seems to be in use “LOVE”. And too often we, sort out our emotions to superficially, subserviently, leniently settle with it! Have I questioned everytime I have fallen? Maybe I did, maybe it was just shallow. Either I thought too much, or I didn’t at all. Whatever I did, everytime my free radicals opted out to attach to those four lettered word, I just expressed it too easily, but vaguely. So, today when I try to turn my face away from some truth, that can shake my whole world, I can barely take a step ahead. I can hardly not face the reality. I just want to embrace it as it is, but there is some sort of reticence, a kind of feeling that keeps me from letting my radicals assume that its love again or its love this time!  Here I have to say-This again thing brings forth all the ferocity and atrocities that I have towards this word, and I keep denying the existence of that feeling. For simplicity, I have tried to assuage my trouble, I have stayed away, I have tested if it is just a fatal attraction, a mere addiction, and turns out, it is not! And when all the experimentation and the tests, have a factual proof that this time its actually what I had been mistaking all along, I just grow much more skeptic, reluctant way too much to speak my heart out! And like an ideal story, just too willing to let go off everything!

 For this moment,I feel like, to understand myself, I shall have to stop understanding at all.