Is knowledge the only might?

For so many reasons, for many instances, there are things that manage to take my breathe away! Hold me surprised, and confused all at the same time. More of the times I have been way too zealous, and just the other while just too apathetic, plainly supine. My inertness for the things I myself acclaim, leaves me with doubts. Doubts regarding my own survival, regarding my own slothfulness. I run around with millions and zillions of thoughts, had I been born in the stone ages, would I have so much time to spare, was I born in some remote places or say rural areas, would I even get by a single day, without having accomplished my chores. And to all those questions of my mind, I would have to give a negative. Not that I am so unaware of things going on around, or am not  vigilant enough. This is the aspect of mine, that under any circumstances, manages to bewilder me. I would never resort to saying that perplexity is my virtue, but as a normal human I myself am capable of jumbling things up in my cerebra.

Every now and then, I feel that I have at least understood what I really want, what I really aspire to achieve. But midst the fog of my bizarre thoughtfulness, I manage to sway away. I get past the phase of understanding so quick, lesser than milliseconds. And there I stand, drenched in the mire of my own knowledge and befuddlement. This unending scuffle between my own thoughts, at the most leave me wither my own ideas, cremate them and just let them flow with the wind. That is how I feel rejuvenated every other second, with the tiresome haul, which could almost twitch my cerebra. This is an ongoing process for me by now, so I have well acclimatized to it, and its consequences. So, to grow my restraint towards it, I convince myself not to get into the tow at all.

Knowing things is not that hard I guess, cause I have opened my eyes to realize that, to do what we know is the hardest of all. We know things when we listen, we read, or something alike, but to actually bring it into handiness, we need to toil, toil our best. In order to uproot the deep drenched ill witted acts of ours, till we finally make room for the new things we know. Things that are bound to make our lives better, things that are easier to be learnt than to be acquainted with. I don’t consider myself a wrecker, a saboteur of my own phrenic system. It is not my renunciation for my own deeds, but in fact I view, to some extent the unending tug, is a sort of preliminary training for my mind, to move forward to the next level. To make me capable enough to think beyond the possible and strive for the so called impossible.

Hope it is worth it! J