Mortality questions?

To begin with was i madly, deeply, completely in love! Or that was just another delusion on my part! Did i conclude too hastily or did i conclude in the middle, when whole of the story was yet to be unveiled. I need not know all the answers to these absurd questions, but in between everything, in between the surreal self of mine, i have denied so much more, that i fear to accept. I have accepted too often to actually be capable of denying. Its just so much of a deliberate confusion i happen to induce, to my existence, that every action of mine seems fatal to me. Fatal enough to be pernicious to my mortality. Even then i assume i have always acted in good faith, at least if not for anyone else, but for this solitude i live in. Every now and then, i need this malign desolation to prove myself, to make myself believe that, had not it been a blunder on the part of almighty creator i would have always been a complete circle, a full one, unaware of its beginning and so with its end!!!!