BLANK!!

& If I could only read between the lines
I wouldn't ever raise a question, upon your
silence.

I blame the beginning, for almost everything. This wrath, this disgust, I have, pops out of blue. I have so many things to say, so many words, that I just hold back. I have so many things I want you to listen, not just hear. I know it hurts too bad. It does. I know the discomfort, the level of numbness you feel, every time I manage to swiftly act finicky about many things, things you hardly know of. You have no queries, no questions, nothing at all to say. Maybe I have made you so used to being silent, and I question your silence every now and then, hoping you would break it someday. I just wish, wish for so many things to happen and with equal amount, wish them not to ever knock us down. I just try to get through you, without letting you know.  It is not my reprisal, why would I ever try doing that? I just want to know, what is that you never dare to speak out, those few words that you pass, what they actually mean. There are so many things I actually wish to know, not of anything, any other being, but just you. Cause, here I have my own selfish ends to meet, I just want your reciprocity. I want you to try hard, harder than you ever show to do, to know me. To know how I feel, what are the things I actually want to say, when I drop out the conversation in a blink. My avarice happens to know its bound, but my heart happens to act way too much parsimonious, when it comes to you. I happen to act weirdest of all the beings. And I can always deny on that, without even letting you know, if it is the truth or not even a bit of it. Well deep inside, how so ever I deny, every bit of my existence is well acquainted to the truth, the fact that, I just can’t help things, things that are finding their ways. Ways to my life. If you could just know, that I actually am not too much of a vexing kind, I just fear the bygones, cause somewhere I have heard, that history repeats itself, and that’s what scares me. The way I act, the way I do, I just can’t take all the buck. I have tried my very best, to stay as normal as I could. But normality if in science has its limitations to thousandth unit, so does mine. That’s the reason I say, I don’t blame the situation we've got today, I blame the beginning, where we could only see the end. A beginning marked by the expectation of nearest end.